Friday, February 10, 2012

<---- Does that make sense to you? NO. Okay me either. Now this is just a picture of a Statistical Formula that i found online but the ones in my book do not look much different. i spent 2 hours on the phone the other day with a very dear friend of mine that is great in math and farther along in his schooling than i am. He was explaining to me how to do my problems in a way that i could actually understand them. i am so very very grateful that he is able and willing to do that. 

~~~~ Now do not get me wrong i LOVE math i always have but Stats confuse the hell out of me. i mean i get the concepts easily enough but i am having problems following the procedures and getting the correct answers. i know with practice and study things will get easier and make more sense. i am just not used to having to study. Schooling has always come so easy for me that i really have never had to study before and i do not know how to do it.  

~~~~ When i was going into high school my mom made me take a summer school course on studying but most of that course was a joke. The only thing i remember about the whole course was reading the book Tuck Everlasting and HATING it. It is not often that i hate a book but that one i do with a passion. It was just bad. Yes, i know a lot of people love that book and it is supposed to be a modern classic but i am sorry it is as bad as The Great Gatsby (another book i can not stand). Back on topic of this paragraph. i had to write an essay about Tuck Everlasting and rate the book. i was honest and said i hated it and would not even give it to fifth graders to read. The teacher was not happy with me because it was her favorite book and she gave it to her eight graders to read. i told her my idea of a good book was To Kill A Mockingbird a book that i read in eight grade and have LOVED ever since.

~~~~ Now if that is the only thing i remember about learning to study for those weeks that i was in that class what does that tell you. Either my grades suck or she did not teach well or i have just never needed to use it. Well far be it from me to say if she was a bad teacher or not because i do not remember but i also very rarely find a bad teacher, my grades do not suck my GPA is a 4.0 i have gotten nothing less than an A in all of my classes. So i guess that means that i have never needed to use the study skills before, and that is the truth. i always do all of my homework and i read all of text books and do all the exercises that they have in the chapters but when it comes to actually studying and make flash cards and things like that i have no clue how to do it or what i am doing. If i have to outline a chapter and write down what i think is important i write a book because to me it is all important or they would not have taken the time to write it all out for us to learn.  

~~~~ i spend hours every day doing my school work and reading my chapters and i guess some might call that studying but to me that is just being prepared for class. i do not know how to explain why it is different to me when to others it is studying. But to me studying is re-reading your notes and making flash cards and things like that i those are the things that i do not know how to do. 

~~~~~ Okay back onto the topic of Stats as i have gone off on a complete tangent here. i am allowed to use a 3 x 5 index card with notes on both sides as well as my graphing calculator but i am still worried that i am not going to do well on this exam. i really want and need to do well. i want to keep my GPA at a 4.0 i will be very upset if it does not stay that way. But i need to get good grades to get into the OT program that i really want to get into.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

~~~~~  i am just sick of Son's father, my EX-husband. 

~~~~ i was relaxing at home and trying to fight this horrible cold that i have when i get a phone call from my ex's new fiance saying that i need to come and get Son from his visitation NOW because my ex is flipping his lid over stupid crap and that Son is not safe. Now knowing my ex i do not doubt this for a minute and through on sandals as i do not want to waste a second looking for socks in my drawer and run out of the house with my cell, keys and purse. i do not even grab a coat and as i have said i am fighting a really bad cold. 

~~~~ i as i am driving an hour out to my ex's home i talk to a good friend of mine and have them look up the number for the police department out there and text it to me. i try to call my ex's fiance and get no answer on her cell phone. This worries me as i do not know what is going on and what Son may have seen or be seeing or anything like that. i call the number my friend sent me and when someone finally answers the phone all i get is that is the wrong number and that i need to call 911. Well i figured i was not going to waste the time of the police until i knew what was going on and if i needed them. So, i try again to call my ex's fiance and still got no answer. By this time i am now in front of my ex's house. i call there and my ex answers all calm and relaxed. i asked to talk to Son and he put son on the phone. Son told me there were no problems that dad and fiance were fighting and that he had gone outside so that he did not have to deal with but that he wanted to stay at dad's. i asked Son to come outside so that i could see him and he did and was fine and happy so there was nothing that i could. i then talked to my ex on the phone and my ex told me that his fiance was in jail for contempt of court for a failure to appear warrant.  .... Okay. 

~~~~ my ex is now telling me all kinds of stuff that i am not going to repeat on here but that i am not truly sure that i believe. But he was laughing about it all. Now that really worries me because when my ex acts like that i know there is something that he is trying to hide. i do not know what he is trying to hide and i am not sure i ever will or if i even want to as long as Son is safe.

~~~~ Now that his fiance is in jail for only the gods know how long my ex is going to act like i am his best friend again and be calling me all the time. i am going to hear lies and stories about everything that is going on in his life and if i do not answer my phone there will be nasty voice mails about how i am not letting him talk to his son and so on. If i tell him i can not talk because i am at school or doing homework it will not matter he will keep calling trying to get me to talk to him. Oh and heaven for bid if i even mention a plan with a friend of mine male or female there will be hell to pay. 

~~~~ He NEEDS to get it through his head that i am NOT his best friend and i do NOT want to know all the lies about his life. i do NOT care who he thinks he can impress with his lies i know better. He can NOT impress me with his name dropping and games. i know him better than that i and i know who he really does know and does not know and how they truly do not know him. i know his name dropping game and am not impressed by it. 

~~~~ i just want him to LEAVE me ALONE. i left him and wanted the divorce and fought for three years to get it. my family does not want anything to do with him no matter what he wants to believe. my family is not going to convince me to get back with him they CAN NOT STAND him any better than i can. my friends are not going to convince me to  get back with him no matter how much he harasses them. Not to mention i will NEVER allow myself to even think about getting back with him. i do not need or deserve the abuse from him that i know i would get. He does not know how to treat anyone and only thinks about himself

~~~~ Okay enough with the ranting about all of this. i will not let him make me into the nutcase.