Forever In Search Of my Muse

~~~~ i am really hoping that i get my divorce finished tomorrow. It has been over two and a half years of fighting for this and i am just so ready for it to be all done and over with. i want to get on with the rest of my life.

~~~~ For two and a half years my ex has tried everything in the book to prolong this divorce and try get me to run out of money. In the end he is the one with no money and not getting anything that he wants. His lawyers withdrew from the case and he cannot find anyone else to take on the job of being his legal counsel. He has screamed and yelled and sworn at his old lawyers of this i am sure and i do not even have to be there to know it because that is just his way. When the divorce first started he tried to act like he was this wonderful saintly person who never does anything wrong and i was this evil witch that ruined his life. my lawyer and i just kept giving him enough "rope" and not only did he hang himself but he also tied himself up in so many knots that no one could get him out.

~~~~ He showed his true colors to everyone. While i have always been the same person throughout all of this because i am not putting on an act. i am me and that is all there is to it. Now yes i have had to deal with a horrible depression because this divorce has taken so long and i felt that i failed at my marriage but it takes two to be married and he wanted a mother not a wife and i needed a husband and a father to the kids not another kid to take care of. Now there was a lot more that lead to the break down of my marriage but i really do not want to get into all that. But my point is that i did not fail at my marriage we failed at it and i know i tried to fight to keep us married but he did not want to fight for us too. So i had to do what was best for me and Son and i us out.

~~~~ i wish nothing evil to my estranged. i want him to find true happiness and love and to learn how to love himself as well as others but i do not want to be hurt by him any more. He did not want to fight for us until it was to late and he felt he was losing his possession but he did not own me. He did not want to get counseling until it was too late or try to see things from my side until it was over and i was gone. In all of this i have only wanted what was best for everyone and i feel i am doing the best i can to make sure that we all get it. Son will still have a relationship with his father but will live with me full time and i will have soul custody. He will get to see his father every other weekend, many holidays throughout the year, and two weeks in the summer.