Forever In Search Of my Muse

~~~~ i have battling with my insomnia since the beginning of September and it has not gotten any better. Last night i actually fell asleep at a decent hour. i sent Son to bed at 9:30pm and i do not remember much after that except laying down on the couch in the living room to watch TV. i do not even think i was awake long enough to change the channel. i woke up at about 1:30am roasting and tossing the covers off of me with Roommate sitting at the end of couch watching TV.

~~~~ i got up to get a drink of water and go to my own bed. Apologizing to Roommate for sleeping where he normally does and for falling asleep when we were going to watch a movie together. He laughed and said not to worry about it he was just going to let me sleep because i have not been sleeping well and he knew i needed the sleep. So i went to lay down in my bed and go back to sleep but i was wide awake. i laid in bed for several hours just trying to fall asleep and it did not work. i finally gave up and started watching my Gilmore Girls Season 5 DVD's. At 7am when the alarms went off for me to get Son up are ready for school i was still up suffering from a horrible migraine that had started about 30min.s before the alarms were due to go off but i could not take my medication because it causes me to fall asleep.

~~~~ After getting Roommate up for work and Son off to school i went back to bed at about 7:45am and ended up sleeping through most of the day. Not waking up fully until Roommate called at 2:30pm to make sure i was awake and had unlocked the front door for Son to get in.
During this medication helped sleep i had a very bazaar dream. It is the same dream i always have when i take my migraine medication.

~~~~ i can not believe i am going to tell anyone besides Roommate and AP about this dream but maybe if i write it down for anyone to read i can stop having it. Okay... here it goes .... i always dream that i am forcefully stuffed into this giant cannon that is shaped like a penis. Yes, a giant penis cannon. And i am shot of this cannon by a group of people holding hands around the bottom of the penis cannon and jumping up and down. So these people are masturbating this penis cannon and i am shot across the room but i always slightly wake up enough to stop the dream before i land. It is just the strangest dream.

~~~~ Now, i have always had strange dreams when i am not feeling well. Ever since i was little i would know when i was getting sick with a bad cold or the flu because i would dream that i was this tiny little person running away from this giant thumb or forefinger that was trying to squish me. i would be running over a tissue where i had to avoid falling though these huge holes, or running around on another finger where i had to follow the fingerprint or climb the ridges like hills and mountains. It was all just very strange but i always had these dreams when i was going to get sick. And i still do, but now i also have to add the penis cannon dream any time i take my migraine medication.

~~~~ i wish i could just get back to a normal sleep schedule where i sleep at night for the whole night and not just a few minutes or hours here and there and then i am up for what seems like forever. i will not take sleeping pills either Rx or OTC. i hate taking the medication for my migraines and my back when the pain is so bad i can not stand it any more. Not to mention that if i take even an OTC sleeping pill i can not take my medication of my back or my migraines and i do not want to risk getting a fully developed migraine ever again the beginnings are bad enough to deal with.