Forever In Search Of my Muse

~~~~ Today started out to be very very stressful with all the calls i had to make to get my Son the meds he needs for his ADHD with the new health insurance. Lets just leaving it at saying i felt like a circus dog jumping through a bunch of hoops and doing back flips to please everyone but really getting nowhere. By the end of it all i was reduced to tears which lately has been very easy to do but no the less i was there again. So i called my friend AP to talk and vent. By about 5 minutes into the phone call she had me laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks for a different reason.

~~~~ AP was doing her dishes and cut her finger on a pair of really sharp kitchen scissors through a dish towel. Now before you all think i am horrible for laughing at her for this i need to tell you the back story. A couple of days ago AP asked me in one of our many phone conversations if i knew how long it would take someone to bleed out when they slit their wrists (this is for her psych homework for college)? i did not know the answer but it turns out it is very hard to actually kill yourself that way. So when she cut her hand today i was worried that she needed stitches or something and i live two states away from her. Well all she needed was a band aid. So she put the band aid on and went back to doing her dishes but wore rubber gloves to keep the cut clean and dry. Well we started joking about her slitting her finger and bleeding to death before her husband got home from work and how he would just step over her body laying on the kitchen floor on his way to the bedroom or something. So she is going on about how it is getting darker, her vision is going fuzzy, and how she is cold so very cold. So i started in on saying how she needs to call 911 and tell them she tried to kill herself by slitting her finger because she already tried her wrists and that did not work. She said she could see it now while she is in the ER getting stitched up and the doctors are asking her why she tried to take her life this way and how they can not keep a straight face and everything. So on and on we go about her trying to kill herself by cutting her finger off. She said she would tell the doctors she was working her way down to her wrists doing it slowly to be sure she did it right she wanted to practice first on her finger and then half her hand then her wrist.

~~~~ i know it does not sound all that funny on here and actually sounds like we were being very morbid but if you know AP and i then you know we will do anything to make each other laugh and can find humor in the strangest places with each other. AP and i have known each other since high school some 15+ years ago. We have both been through a lot and there is a darker back story to why committing suicide is a joke for us that most others can not joke about. That story is very dark, very deep and not mine to tell.

~~~~ Suffice it to say i needed to laugh today and she got me laughing. There have been many days when she has needed a laugh and called me. One of our favorite things to do is pick on men. We will compare them to cavemen saying things like, "OO OO me man, me work OO OO" "OO OO me man, me pee standing up OO OO" and other such things that are a lot more shall we say crude and un-lady like. But they are always good for a laugh in fact after one such day of our caveman routine AP's husband and father were fixing the sound system for her TV and radio when she just started laughing for what seemed like no reason to them. She was thinking "OO OO me man, me fix OO OO" which is one line that always comes up in our joking around.

~~~~ Laughter is always good medicine for what ales you and with good friends laughter is always just a phone call away. People have been known to get me laughing hard enough whatever i am eating or drinking will come out my nose. It is sooo very gross but they seem to find it so very funny and strive for it like it is a gold medal of comedy or something. A few of the things i have had come out my nose are cottage cheese, lemonade, bar-b-que ribs with sauce, mashed potatoes, chicken tenders, and ice cream. i would have to say the bar-b-que sauce hurt the worst and the cottage cheese was the grossest.

~~~~ Leaving you with a good laugh i got my nick name of Eeyore because when i get laughing really hard i can not breathe and sound like a dieing donkey gasping for air every time i inhale.