Forever In Search Of my Muse

~~~~ Okay this stress thing is getting a little ridiculous. It has caused my insomnia to come back and i really do not want it. The last time i had to deal with my insomnia it took me over a month to get rid of it and i will not take any kind of sleeping pills because they can mess with my migraine medication and that is much more important. i can semi-function without enough sleep but i can not function with a migraine. Though lack of sleep will cause migraines go figure.

~~~~ So anyway last night was my first battle with insomnia in about 3 months and i really do not want it to come back. i feel asleep on the couch watching Ghost Hunters on the DVR and woke up around midnight and tried to go to bed. By 1:50am i gave up trying to make myself sleep and went back into the living room and quietly watched the animated version of The King And I, believe me when i tell you if that does not put you to sleep then nothing will. And that did not put me to sleep. But it was now later then i ever wanted to be up. i then watched Bring It On of all things another movie that you do not have to think to watch and was still up. While watching these mind numbing movies i tried to relax by crocheting as well and worked on the Hobo Bag that i am making up the pattern for as i make it. i really like how it is turning out too. Mean time Roommate was snoring away happily on the other couch fast asleep in dreamland. GRRRRRR. It was just so unfair i wanted to scream or wake him up but i could not do that. By about 4:40am i decided i had enough and went back to bed and just laid there until i fell asleep sometime around 5:00am. my alarm to get my Son ready for school went off at 6:45am and i really did not want to get up. Though up i got and got him ready for school and woke Roommate up so that he could get ready for work. Thankfully Roommate nicely offered to get my Son on the bus for me so that i could go back to bed for a couple hours. i slept from 8:00am until 10:00am and have been moving and working since then.

~~~~ i really hope that i can get some sleep tonight i do not want to deal with insomnia or stress any more. Though i will get a lot of reading, movie watching, and crocheting done i would much rather get a lot of sleeping done in that time. It is not like i can do laundry or anything while Roommate and my Son are sleeping the buzzer on the washer and dryer would wake them that thing is so loud and i do not need them getting up to use the washroom and slipping on a freshly mopped floor. i could just hear my neighbors bitching if i went out and cut the grass at that too not to mention i do not want to scare any of the neighborhood skunks. (Oh the joys of living by the Park Preserves ... Skunks, Deer, Coyotes, Frogs, Raccoons, Foxes, and Mosquitoes.) Maybe i should by myself a copy of the book Of Mice And Men i had to read that for high school (many years ago) and could not get past the first sentence of the book without falling asleep and the rest of the book was no better for me when i skipped that sentence. A sleeping pill in book form though my sleeping pills in movie form did not work so there is no guarantee that the book will work either.

~~~~ i should have known my insomnia was coming back too when i started having nightmares again. That is always how it happens but this time i did not have as many nightmares as i usually do so i guess i thought i would get lucky or that my stress had lessened enough that i escaped the insomnia. The last time this happened i was so desperate for sleep that by the end of the month i was ready to take my migraine meds just so that i could get some sleep. my migraine meds take away enough of the pain and put me to sleep through the rest of it though it is not a restful sleep. i always have very strange dreams usually about being stuff into and shot out of a giant penis cannon. Please do not ask because i have no clue. Though in all honesty i could never take my meds for anything but what they are intended for i am too afraid of becoming addicted to them because addiction runs high in my family. In the end i just waited it out and my body crashed from being so tired all the time. i just do not want to have to do that again.